... may your heart be strong.
It's a lyric that just came on and I like it enough to add it here!
So working from home is, well, working from home! But, I think that overall it's going quite well. Here's hoping it stays that way! I get my first draft back from the client tomorrow and hopefully there aren't many changes to what I've proposed.
Fingers crossed.
On the me front, I've been thinking more and more about the relationship between me, my mom and my stepmom. Man it's complicated.
Following everything that went down after the wedding (blame, blame, blame), I'm a little concerned about the upcoming birth. Mainly following the birth and when people want to come and visit.
Since my mom now lives out of province, she will be coming here to stay for a bit. I think I'm OK with that. Having an extra pair of hands around the house will be great. But the thing is, my dad and stepmom will want to visit... and if my mom is staying here... they'll be here at the same time.
I grew up thinking things were hunky dory between my dad, mom and stepmom. More recently I've gathered that this may not be the case. The wedding was one of those recent moments.
Within two weeks of having this child, I will not be any condition (and nor should I need to be) to act as moderator. I will NOT be focusing on everyone elses well being - I refuse. So what to do?
I know I need to get this out in the open soon so that discussions can be had.
I need to talk with my mom about what her expectations are when she's here. I need to tell her what MY expectations are while she's here. I need to ask her what her suggestion is for how visits are managed, because I'm concerned. We need to get some of the emotional baggage out on the table, because I can't have another event like the post-wedding emotional bullshit. I'm still not over THAT, and it's over two years old.
My stepmom doesn't know a fraction of the stuff that went down with my mom. All she knows is that my mom was upset following the wedding. And honestly, she doesn't need to know any more than that. My mom's baggage is not her responsibility. Nor is it mine.
Oh jeeze the things life throws at us...
And my stepmom is another item all together. She is perpetually full of unsolicited advice and most recently this has included a tidbit I heard from my dad this morning that "Thom and I are taking on way too much given what we need to do around the house to get it ready for the baby".
Thanks. We'll take that into consideration. Now keep your thoughts to yourself. That is, unless you're willing to lend a hand. AND THIS after years of her suggesting we take on said responsibility... Jesus!
So I need to have some conversations and I need to set up some boundaries. This little one will need to arrive into an environment that is befitting it's arrival... it doesn't need to be plunged into the bullshit I've been living for the past two years.
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2 comments:
Ouch. I can imagine that this BS is the LAST THING you want to think about in the coming weeks, but I agree that it's better to get it out in the open and talked about rather sooner than later, when the little munchkin is there.
All I can say is that I have no advice, but Godspeed! (not that I put much faith in god). But, I think talking ahead is a good idea.
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