This post is partially reflection on 2008 and partially looking forward to 2009. A bit of a tall task, I might add.
2008 has brought huge changes to my life.
A new house. New responsibilities. New job. New introspection. New beginnings.
The house has been the biggest change, as it has brought new focus to something completely different. What was at first quite scary is now very normal. It's still not quite home yet, but I think that's because in the past few years, I've moved every two years at a minimum. That's hard to get over. I predict that Feb 2010 will bring new thoughts on this matter. But I can't look too forward :) The house has been all at once exhausting and liberating. It's great. Who knew that getting walls insulated, completely renovating a bathroom, working with contractors... and working with more contractors, and having hardwood floors refinished could be part of the norm?
The new job came to be about 6 weeks ago. It's at the same place, but a pay raise and a bit of security. It's a nice change. It doesn't hurt that I now get benefits. That's a real nice treat.
I've also been able to give some more thought to who I am and why I do the things I do. I generally spend a lot of time in my head, it's just who I am, but I now have real questions that need answering. I have also realized just how important it is for me to push myself. I'm a big fan of staying in my comfort zone, but that's not when I'm the happiest and feel the most fulfilled. It's when I'm flying by the seat of my pants that I feel like I'm alive. I need to do that more.
So 2009 is going to be a big year.
Chronologically, here's the deal:
- My good friend L is moving back to Canada, and will be living only 3 hours from me again. Plus, she's pregnant. Super cool.
- We still have a boat load of things to do around the house. We are having bedroom furniture delivered in a couple weeks and the bedroom is not ready for it yet. Hence, I will be spending my day washing walls and vacuuming up paint dust from some sanding we've done. Good times.
- I have some time off coming to me this spring. It will provide many opportunities to get more stuff done around the house. Rock on!
- We were going to do a hiking trip in Scotland this year, but that's on the back burner for at least a year. We'll see how that goes...
- Time at the cottage, time at the cottage, time at the cottage...
- Perhaps a camping trip towards the end of August? We'll see.
Mentally, here's the deal:
- I really need to continue looking inwards and doing some work on myself - insecurities, control issues, lack of patience. There's got to be an answer somewhere.
- They say marriage is work. Looks like I need to work a little harder. They also say that we hurt the ones we love the most... why is that? I need to ask myself that question; repeatedly. There is no excuse for how I behave.
- I need to focus on what's good in my life, and not on what is missing. I've got it good. I need to believe that in my heart. There's no reason not to.
- all these changes take some courage. I've got it in me, I just need to try harder.
Physically, here's the deal:
- I need to continue being active and I need to continue eating really well. It's what I need.
So this is just a fly by the seat of the pants kind of entry. It's what's on my mind right now, and something I needed to get out there. All the best to you and yours in 2009. It has the potential of being whatever you want it to be.
PS - Have I mentioned that I'm absolutely obsessed with this song?
