I attribute my ability to being able to kick above 3 feet high. I think that's the ticket.
17
In other news, I made it to the gym this morning. Perhaps that will help me in my endeavors...
Monday, April 28, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Divided
I've decided that I'm in a constant battle with myself. I'm a bit of an enigma, even to myself.I'm not trying to make myself sound mysterious or anything, but I really feel like I'm trying to figure myself out right now. It's probably because of that retreat I went to a couple weeks ago.
One side of me wants to be outgoing. This side of me is very much a part of me and pokes it's head out every once in a while when I'm feeling confident or being witty. It is the side that wants to be noticed and challenged. It is the side of me that wants to have friends over all the time and to have a house filled with side splitting laughter and good times. It is the side of me that wants to break free a bit from the more quiet and reserved side of me; the side that wants to go to bars or raves and dance up a storm.
The other side very much retreats to the safety zones. This side really cares what people think and only wants them to think nice things. This side has a tough time of picking up the phone to call friends and invite them over for dinner (and at times begs Thom to do the calling). This side spends WAY too much time at home. This side bothers me a bit.
The thing is, it is the second side that does most of the ruling over me. It is generally only friends who see the first side of me. These friends would possibly call me an extrovert.
Today I was at a meeting with a new colleague and following the meeting he said that he was surprised with how I was at the meeting. We had a conversation last week about we were both introverts. He thought that I was far more outgoing than he expected.
You see, I feel a bit odd. While I score very high in the introvert scale, I can be quite vocal and outgoing, and sometimes downright witty and funny. I find it hard to approach people when I don't know them, yet I chat up people at the grocery store. I really care about not looking like an ass in front of people and at the same time I'll do some pretty embarrassing things to get a laugh. I'm generally pretty quiet and think out what I'm going to say in advance and yet at times my mind propels me to speak before I've completely thought something through. And finally, part of me completely wishes I could be more like E and just do something risky and take off somewhere while the other side of me thinks "Jesus, how stupid are you?".
I need to give this a bit of thought and figure out what the hell I need. It's like I want the rewards of being more outgoing, but I don't want to do the work... I think this is going to be a long discovery.
Does anyone else ever feel conflicted like this? Anyone have any advice?
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Snippets of new
Here are two pics of our new place. They're pretty specific, but that's just the way it is! Click on the pictures to go to my Flickr site which is where you can read all the fun notes! :)
Part of the newly renovated bathroom.
Fireplace in the livingroom...
Part of the newly renovated bathroom.
Fireplace in the livingroom...
Monday, April 7, 2008
Happenings
WARNING: It's a long one! ... and not very organized!
The past week (OK... month...) has been super busy and I have to say that I'm happy the craziness is nearing it's end! There is absolutely no way that this kind of living could be sustainable!
We are about 95% done with the bathroom. All that remains to be done is to find a mirror and light fixture we like (for above the mirror - currently we're dabbling in minimalistic chic by having only a bare lightbulb), buy and install towel racks and a toilet paper holder and buy and build a little cabinet to hold our toilettries, etc. The major stuff, demo, rebuild, tiling and painting is done. It feels great to say that.
The hardwood turned out beautiful as well. When I see floors like this I wonder what goes through people's minds when they choose to cover them up. Crazy! The interesting thing is that upstairs in our house they used 2nd rate wood which means that it's more red than the wood on the mainfloor. I think it might actually be a mix of red and white oak. Incredibly gorgeous in my opinion!
So we moved in last weekend. My dad and stepmom came up to help us. I wasn't too pleased when I found out my stepmom was coming as well. She takes so much more effort than my dad. Anyhow, I've found that lately my stepmom is joining my dad more often when he comes up to visit. She's usually too busy... but lately she's been around. Hmmm. My thought? I think she's using me as a surrogate for my sister.
My sister did end up moving away and she has been out of the immediate area for two months now. I've spoken to her a few times and at first she was totally psyched and "never felt happier". More recently she was having difficulty with her days feeling very unproductive. I think real life caught up to her a bit.
Moving on.
Last week I went to a leadership workshop for three days. It's the first of a few get togethers and it was really amazing. I was quite impressed how quickly the group of 20 or so got comfortable with each other. It was nice.
The first day was mostly a meet and greet to get to get to know one another.
The second day was full of self assessments. Here's what I found out.
Using the True Colours system, I am a gold. Boring old gold...
"a need to be responsible, to fulfill duties and obligations, to organize and structure our life and that of others"
The nice thing this time around (I've done it before) is that I wasn't alone. I've always been the only person in the gold group and this time I had others with me. As silly as it seems, I was relieved... Relieved to know that I 'belonged'. Funny how that's a characteristic of gold; to want to belong.
The second self assessment was a basic introvert/extrovert test. Let's just say I'm a little on the introvert side... yeah... I got 29/30 on the introvert scale. It's a wonder I can even function! ;)
The third self assessment was the Keirsey Temperament test, where amazingly I came out as an introvert again!! I am ISFJ (the Protector) and one of the four Guardian personalities.
"If you want it done right, do it yourself"
In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticisms, the ISFJ gets discouraged
I can't remember what the final test was, but it was all very interesting. While I don't believe whole heartedly in these tests, they certainly come close to describing me. Of course there are a few outliers.
In addition to doing the self assessments, we also learned our leadership styles. Unshockingly, my leadership style is to encourage others. I don't 'challenge the system' or take many risks.
What I also learned is that I've felt most happy in my life when I've taken risks and been challenged:
___- when I asked Thom (remember my new name for that darling husband of mine?) out
___- M.Sc. (field work)
___- any time I've been dropped into a situation I wasn't sure I could handle.
What this tells me is that I need to challenge myself (or be challenged) more. In order to have satisfaction in my life, I need to be challenged.
I signed up for this workshop to help me figure a few things out in my life... in particular my employment hopes and desires. At present I'm not sure if my current job, or current employer, is where I want to be. I've told myself that it's where I want to be, but essentially I think I'm just being lazy. Comfortable. Complacent.
Through this workshop I've also had to come up with at least four goals.
__Spiritual: To do something for someone else. I endeavor to volunteer for something I
__believe in (women and children's rights, environmental causes), outside of Canada.
__I heard so many inspirational stories at this workshop, and I really need to give back.
__I aim to do this by December 2009.
__Family: I am going to focus on having a better relationship with my mom. I know that
__I need her in my life. Although my therapist said that it's not necessarily my job to do
__so, I need to do something to work forward... I aim to have more patience and
__understanding with my mom by December 2008.
__Health: I want to lose 15 lbs by December 2008 by eating better and exercising more
__regularly. I know this will benefit me.
__Professional: I want to have a job that challenges and inspires me by December 2009.
__This is going to take a little soul searching as I don't know what I want to do with my life!
So the past month has been a little busy... really good... but really tiring! I am looking very forward to just painting for the next little while. We're still going to be living with our student-esque furniture for a while, but that's OK. The place is starting to look a little more like ours and it can only get better, right?
The past week (OK... month...) has been super busy and I have to say that I'm happy the craziness is nearing it's end! There is absolutely no way that this kind of living could be sustainable!
We are about 95% done with the bathroom. All that remains to be done is to find a mirror and light fixture we like (for above the mirror - currently we're dabbling in minimalistic chic by having only a bare lightbulb), buy and install towel racks and a toilet paper holder and buy and build a little cabinet to hold our toilettries, etc. The major stuff, demo, rebuild, tiling and painting is done. It feels great to say that.
The hardwood turned out beautiful as well. When I see floors like this I wonder what goes through people's minds when they choose to cover them up. Crazy! The interesting thing is that upstairs in our house they used 2nd rate wood which means that it's more red than the wood on the mainfloor. I think it might actually be a mix of red and white oak. Incredibly gorgeous in my opinion!
So we moved in last weekend. My dad and stepmom came up to help us. I wasn't too pleased when I found out my stepmom was coming as well. She takes so much more effort than my dad. Anyhow, I've found that lately my stepmom is joining my dad more often when he comes up to visit. She's usually too busy... but lately she's been around. Hmmm. My thought? I think she's using me as a surrogate for my sister.
My sister did end up moving away and she has been out of the immediate area for two months now. I've spoken to her a few times and at first she was totally psyched and "never felt happier". More recently she was having difficulty with her days feeling very unproductive. I think real life caught up to her a bit.
Moving on.
Last week I went to a leadership workshop for three days. It's the first of a few get togethers and it was really amazing. I was quite impressed how quickly the group of 20 or so got comfortable with each other. It was nice.
The first day was mostly a meet and greet to get to get to know one another.
The second day was full of self assessments. Here's what I found out.
Using the True Colours system, I am a gold. Boring old gold...
"a need to be responsible, to fulfill duties and obligations, to organize and structure our life and that of others"
The nice thing this time around (I've done it before) is that I wasn't alone. I've always been the only person in the gold group and this time I had others with me. As silly as it seems, I was relieved... Relieved to know that I 'belonged'. Funny how that's a characteristic of gold; to want to belong.
The second self assessment was a basic introvert/extrovert test. Let's just say I'm a little on the introvert side... yeah... I got 29/30 on the introvert scale. It's a wonder I can even function! ;)
The third self assessment was the Keirsey Temperament test, where amazingly I came out as an introvert again!! I am ISFJ (the Protector) and one of the four Guardian personalities.
"If you want it done right, do it yourself"
In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticisms, the ISFJ gets discouraged
I can't remember what the final test was, but it was all very interesting. While I don't believe whole heartedly in these tests, they certainly come close to describing me. Of course there are a few outliers.
In addition to doing the self assessments, we also learned our leadership styles. Unshockingly, my leadership style is to encourage others. I don't 'challenge the system' or take many risks.
What I also learned is that I've felt most happy in my life when I've taken risks and been challenged:
___- when I asked Thom (remember my new name for that darling husband of mine?) out
___- M.Sc. (field work)
___- any time I've been dropped into a situation I wasn't sure I could handle.
What this tells me is that I need to challenge myself (or be challenged) more. In order to have satisfaction in my life, I need to be challenged.
I signed up for this workshop to help me figure a few things out in my life... in particular my employment hopes and desires. At present I'm not sure if my current job, or current employer, is where I want to be. I've told myself that it's where I want to be, but essentially I think I'm just being lazy. Comfortable. Complacent.
Through this workshop I've also had to come up with at least four goals.
__Spiritual: To do something for someone else. I endeavor to volunteer for something I
__believe in (women and children's rights, environmental causes), outside of Canada.
__I heard so many inspirational stories at this workshop, and I really need to give back.
__I aim to do this by December 2009.
__Family: I am going to focus on having a better relationship with my mom. I know that
__I need her in my life. Although my therapist said that it's not necessarily my job to do
__so, I need to do something to work forward... I aim to have more patience and
__understanding with my mom by December 2008.
__Health: I want to lose 15 lbs by December 2008 by eating better and exercising more
__regularly. I know this will benefit me.
__Professional: I want to have a job that challenges and inspires me by December 2009.
__This is going to take a little soul searching as I don't know what I want to do with my life!
So the past month has been a little busy... really good... but really tiring! I am looking very forward to just painting for the next little while. We're still going to be living with our student-esque furniture for a while, but that's OK. The place is starting to look a little more like ours and it can only get better, right?
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